no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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