So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
