i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
