I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
