My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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