a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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