remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
