More tranny stories later!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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