i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
two words: eviction party
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
