Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
