This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
