I just pynch a tree in the face
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
