In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just found puke in my bra..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Shame - the story of my life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
