It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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