what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Randomize
