The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
