I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
home. puking in laundry basket.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
