I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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