I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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