Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
