It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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