i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
