it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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