Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
