I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
