The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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