bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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