i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
