she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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