based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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