If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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