I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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