No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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