Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
