Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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