Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Drake has all the answers
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
