she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
