hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
