there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
smell my finger.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
