Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Oh god it's open bar.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
