I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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