Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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