I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
