So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
