I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
