There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
