I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
