if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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