I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize