But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
