I got chris browned last night
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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