Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
