Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were trust falling into bushes
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
