i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
