tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
