We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
