dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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