a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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