did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
