Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
