the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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