can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
