His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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