I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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