Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
