is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize