I bet he comes in French.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
